By David Colon

While late-night comedians and tabloids can make jokes about “Client Number 9,” “Tainted Gov” and the “Luv Guv,” polite society cannot.
So said etiquette expert Letitia Baldrige, former White House chief of staff to Jacqueline Kennedy, when considering how people should now refer to Eliot Spitzer.
Former elected officials are traditionally still referred to with the office they once held, and, scandal and resignation regardless, Spitzer should still be referred to as “Governor,” and no one, under any circumstances, add “ex-” to the title, Baldridge said.  
“To call him ex-Governor, in my eyes, would be unpardonable. You don’t call a priest who left the church ex-Father O’Brien,” she said.
Scandal, she said, is best left unmentioned.

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Day 1-Day 442: The Spitzer Legacy

Full coverage on NYCapitolNews.com...

• Spitzer's Wake
• Now Who Would Get the Senate Seat?
• Silda Wall Spitzer’s Effects and Michelle Paige Paterson’s Prospects
• Questions Swirl Over Which Firms Stand on Solid Ground
• In Alabama, a Lieutenant Governor who Became Governor, then Lieutenant Governor Again
• The Next Step for the Career Cut Short
• Once Governor, Always Governor
• Signs of Change
• Bond Issues

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“Put the scandal behind you, ask him what he’s doing with his life now,” she said. “To ask about the scandal at all would be rude and cruel.”  
Emily Yoffe, who writes the “Dear Prudence” column on Slate.com, noted that since America is not as title-conscious as other nations, referring to him simply as “Mr. Spitzer” would hardly be a sign of disrespect.
She agreed, though, that bringing up the scandal should as a rule be off-limits, with some exceptions based on venue.
“If he stands up at a sex addicts meeting, obviously it’s okay to ask about it,” she said.
Otherwise, said Peter Post of the Emily Post Institute, only friends and family can politely discuss the scandal with Spitzer.
“Everyone thinks etiquette is just this book you flip open and reference, but it is not black and white—it takes into account the situation you’re in and your relationship with the person,” he said.
But Post said this would not hold for elected officials who committed worse offenses than being implicated in a prostitution ring.
“If a governor goes to prison for an atrocious murder, the guards probably will not be calling him governor,” Post said. “There’s no definition in any etiquette book for how to deal with someone who’s committed heinous crimes.”
The experts also weighed in on how to now refer to Silda Wall Spitzer. Whether or not to call her former First Lady is the “elephant in the room” in terms of etiquette, Yoffe said.
Baldrige said the answer was simple.
“Since she doesn’t have a title, you refer to her as Mrs. Spitzer if you don’t know her, or Silda if you do,” she said, adding, “Silda happens to be a lovely name.”
Post had another idea.
“If you can, find out from someone ahead of time what she prefers to be called,” he said.
For either member of the couple, he advised that perhaps no rule of etiquette is more important than the Golden Rule.
“You are not trying to make them uncomfortable, you are trying to get things off on the right foot,” Post said. “Ask yourself how you would like to be treated in the same situation.”

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Day 1-Day 442: The Spitzer Legacy

Full coverage on NYCapitolNews.com...

• Spitzer's Wake
• Now Who Would Get the Senate Seat?
• Silda Wall Spitzer’s Effects and Michelle Paige Paterson’s Prospects
• Questions Swirl Over Which Firms Stand on Solid Ground
• In Alabama, a Lieutenant Governor who Became Governor, then Lieutenant Governor Again
• The Next Step for the Career Cut Short
• Once Governor, Always Governor
• Signs of Change
• Bond Issues

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